Separation
by AravaT
Summary: "When he pulled her arms off his chest, a lightening bolt of fear shot through her with the thought that he wasn't going to forgive her, he was too hurt, that she might have broken them already."


Disclaimer: Characters owned by Andrew Marlowe. **See image that inspired this at my tumblr page. Link is located on my page. Thank you and I hope you enjoy.**

Oh how Kate Beckett hated book tour season. She never thought in a million years that she would feel this way about Castle's absence. If her 29-year-old self could see her now she would scoff in her ignorant independence, judging Kate for desperately missing Castle. Now though, she knew better, she knew the potent ache that formed when the one you love is absent from your daily life, especially when you were used to his near constant presence. Castle had been on a 6-week tour with one measly weekend getaway back home to New York that took place at the second week mark. It was a day and a half filled with reunion sex for the newlywed couple, who were well and truly immersed in the honeymoon phase of their marriage. They were desperate and missing each other over a pathetic 14-day separation and now it had been a total of 32 days without seeing Castle in person and Kate was growing weary.

Of course, the fact that a week ago they had a petty argument that escalated in a full on fight didn't help a damn thing. Looking back on that late night phone conversation that took place last Friday, Kate couldn't help but realize how stupid and unfair she had been to Castle. It had been a culmination of the frustration over constantly playing phone tag, interspersed with pointless texting; a dead end case that got under Kate's skin; and a need to release her coiled tension. Castle just ended up being the easiest target. He had been texting her non-stop all day, little inane thoughts and honeysweet sentiments that, to Kate at the time, were nothing but annoying distractions from her high-profile investigation. By the end of the work day not only had Kate been knocked around by a suspect takedown, she had also been reamed out by Gates for disregarding correct arrest procedure (even though being spit on and nearly bit _totally_ justified the rough force she used in taking the guy out), and the case _still_ wasn't solid. So when Kate got home, she took a deep breath and realized she actually enjoyed the silence that came along with Castle's absence.

Somehow that one seemingly innocent thought snowballed into an internal rant about how clingy he was, how he never shut up and just let her be, how he had to smother her with attention even when he was on the opposite coast. She huffed around the loft muttering to herself about the annoyance of his OCD compulsion to make sure there weren't any dishes left in the sink, irked with how he would follow right behind her and hover around her every movement in the kitchen. Of course this lead her to stew about how he just _had_ to have all the laundry folded a _certain_ way and how Castle constantly reorganized her things in the shower and on the counters, moving things just slightly and invading her space. Suffocating and smothering her.

By the time Kate had finished snacking on some cheese, crackers, and fruit and prepping for bed she had herself all worked up about Castle. But she was blinded to the fact that her frustration and anger had nothing to do with Castle and more to do with the shitty day she had. Kate flopped into bed, taking advantage of the large bed and spread starfish style in the middle as a form of rebellion against her husband. She reluctantly called him since they always had their nightly talks at 10pm before bed. It went to voicemail, which somehow became the last straw for in Kate's self-control. She was _pissed_. So when Castle called at 10:45 and woke her up and when Kate promptly realized that he was a bit drunk, she laid into him with harsh, bitter words. Words that purposely picked on Castle's insecurities and plucked at his nerves so much so that Castle's near everlasting patience and restraint completely shattered, resulting in a high-speed rally of harsh words. Kate hung up on him while Castle responded to her accusations of him of being a serial-flirt and muttering "No wonder Meredith cheated on you, she probably thought you had done it with half of the women in New York."

Yeah it had gotten ugly. Castle called back that next day, she ignored it. A week later and she hadn't heard a peep from him aside from a forwarded email about his changed itinerary. Now, 32 days of separation and Kate painted quite the picture of misery. It was Espo's birthday and the entire gang was out at the bar, drinking in excesses and throwing around good-natured jabs. Even with Kate's mopey self-pity, Lanie dragged her out for the night nearly stuffing Kate in a little black dress that was practically painted on. Kate had to admit, being out and looking hot made her feel a little better, a bit more confident in herself. But looking back on that last phone call with Castle she feels nothing but ugly for how she treated him. Hindsight being a perfect 20/20, Kate realized that Castle didn't deserve anything she threw at him.

She missed him, desperately. Missed his smile and the way his eyes sparkled and crinkled at the edges, she missed waking up to him draped across her back nibbling at her neck, she missed coming home from work to a foot rub and a warm meal, she missed getting in bed and talking about literature, world news, old cartoons, their future, anything and everything that flowed between them. She missed his strong arms and bulging biceps and the broad planes of his chest and the tapering of his waist. Kate missed his hands, so devious and delicious; hers had been such a poor substitute over the past month, even with his voice in her ear encouraging her along. As she thought about all this, sitting at the bar alone she felt the flush of arousal and need crawl up her chest and cheeks. Kate needed to apologize to her husband and then she needed her husband. Lucky for her, Castle was due to stroll into the bar in less than 20 minutes.

* * *

><p>About ten minutes later, Kate spotted her husband cross the bar's threshold and as he made eye contact with her across the bar he held a completely un-Castle like look on his face. A look she had only seen about three times in the course of their relationship. His eyes were steely cool and the blue of his iris shimmered with conflict, his shoulders were straight and taught, and his mouth was set in a thin line that gave nothing away. Yep, Kate may not have seen this face of his much, but she knew it meant he was still pissed at her. A moment later Castle broke their stare as Ryan came over to greet him. As she watched them interacted Kate could see Castle's features were completely transformed back to the carefree, happy-go-lucky persona that he was known for, putting on a show.<p>

Kate took one more big sip of her martini to finish it off, followed by a deep fortifying breath, and went over to welcome her hubby home from his weary travels. She marched over to him, sidled up next to him sliding her hand in his and wrapping her other around his strong bicep, snuggling close to him in hopes that she could woo him out of his anger. Castle startled a bit at the contact but instinct and habit took over when he dipped his head to give her a kiss and she reached up on the toes of her stilettos. However, as Castle realized the state of things, he quickly diverted and gave a chaste kiss on the cheek, one he would give to her grandmother. Kate scowled as he glanced over at her out of the corner of his eye. He continued to pay attention to Jenny's tales of an ER nurse and barely acknowledged Kate even though it had been 32 fucking days since they have been in the _same room_ together. Kate refused to give up though, she leaned further into his strong frame, tilting her face into his shoulder to smell his masculine, dominating scent of spice, citrus, and male strength. His scent alone made her knees weaken a bit. Unfortunately, her bliss was cut short when, in a very inconspicuous manner, Castle untangled himself from his wife until their only point of contact was a slack handhold.

"If you ladies would excuse me, I'm going to grab a drink. Can I get any one anything?" Castle offered before dropping Kate's hand and heading toward the bar without a second glance her way. Kate was stunned and realized the severity of the wounds she inflicted on her husband because she recognized Castle's tactics as the same ones he used after hearing Kate confess to a suspect that she remembered everything about her shooting.

"Well that was as cold as ice, what the hell was up with that Kate?" Lanie asked, bumping Kate's hip and nodding along with Jenny, both painted with a perplexed look.

"Ugh, we are kind of in the middle a the biggest fight of our marriage thus far." Kate answered scratching a hand through her hair in an act of exhaustion because she suddenly was _so_ exhausted with it all. Being mad at Castle for this past week was so draining. The double-edged sword striking deep when she wanted and needed to take comfort in her man, yet the fight with him was the very reason she needed comfort in the first place.

"What?! Aren't you two supposed to be having crazy newlywed sex and working on making me an aunt?" pushed Lanie, "Make that crazy newlywed reunion sex, since he has been on that damn book tour for six weeks!"

"Yes! That's exactly what we should be doing, that's what I want to be doing. But I really fucked up and picked a stupid fight with him and we haven't spoken in a week and now he wont even look at me let alone touch me." Kate spewed out, working herself up, clenching her fists at her side and clenching her jaw.

"Wow, ease up there Becks, it'll be okay. Don't expect us to give you a free pass on the juicy details of your fight, but we _are_ gonna postpone that gossip session because you really need to go kiss and make up with your boy over there," Lanie advised, gesturing in Castle's direction.

"Definitely, Rick looks like his blood pressure is going to blow him through the roof," Jenny quipped. She was right though, his entire body was taut with tension, and damnit if that didn't somehow stir Kate's libido. Castle had an animalistic edge to him that contrasted the smart, sharp black suit he was in. His body was displayed like a GQ model in that outfit, one she helped pick out. His pants were well tailored to his thick, muscular thighs; his shirt stretched tight across his pecs and tucked neatly at his flat, trim waist; his toned forearms on display with his sleeve pushed up slightly displaying his bulky watch and the rippling skin dusted with coarse hair. Yeah, hot animalistic reunion sex was exactly what she needed.

But first, Kate needed to apologize and mean it. So she put on her big girl pants, swallowed her pride, and followed her man over to the bar. Kate's mind raced through tactics she could use to smooth things over with Castle, strategies to appeal to him and pin him into forgiveness. But as her husband came into sight again, it all left her mind and all she wanted to do was make it better for him. Castle was slumped and hunched over the far corner of the bar, head hung low and resting on his folded hands, which cradled a heavy glass of whisky. And in that moment Kate knew that Rick hated fighting with her and was just as exhausted as she was. Kate didn't think strategy and tactic anymore; she acted solely out of her love from the man before her.

Kate approached him and hesitated for a moment before sucking it up and leaned against his broad back, draping herself along the line of his body, sliding her arms down and around his to wrap them around his chest, swiping the fingers of one hand down under the collar of his button down. He tensed in his low bar stool, one hand coming up to gently grab her wrist, as if to pull her arms off of him. He straightening up a bit, enough that she had to stand up on her tiptoes to nuzzle her chin down into the divot created by his clavicle and trapezius and get her lips to brush against the shell of his ear. Castle, let out a deep breath, allowing himself to be submerged in her affection, allowing her to breath him in and ground herself. But, Kate knew this was only a momentary reverie because she knew the words she spoke over the phone cut deep and damaged their connection and she knew she had to repair that before he allowed her past his defenses again. They were a lot alike in that respect, hesitant to let people in.

Just as Castle reached in to pull Kate's hand out of the collar of his shirt and break their fragile détente, Kate took a deep breath and sighed out her apology.

"I'm sorry Castle…"

His shoulders relaxed like a wave of relief washed through him and instead of removing her hand, Castle laced their fingers together. The battle was over. Now there was just the wreckage to work with so Kate forged ahead.

"I'm so sorry I said the things that I said, I swear I didn't mean them. I was just- I don't know, I was stressed and frustrated with work and I took it out on you baby, and I am so so sorry." Kate confessed, tightening her arms around him. He remained mute, only bringing her hand up to his lips and placing a gentle kiss there. When he pulled her arms off his chest, a lightening bolt of fear shot through her with the thought that he wasn't going to forgive her, he was too hurt, that she might have broken them already. But he merely kept a hold of her hand, turned in his seat and pulled her around to face him. They looked intently at one another, Kate searching his eyes to see if his wall was still raised and Castle seeking to see sincerity in Kate's eyes. They both found what they were looking for when Castle guided Kate's hand toward his shoulder prompting her to wrap her arms around his shoulders and neck. He gripped her petite waist then tenderly spread his hands wide at her lower back, burying his face in her neck whispering loving words.

"It hurt Kate, you hurt me. You know I just put on that author persona for the public, it's not me. I thought you knew that," Castle confessed brokenly to her, speaking so quietly that Kate had to cuddle closer to him in the loud bar.

"I know Castle, I know. I was just blowing off steam an- and I'm just so sorry," she reiterated, at a loss for how to repair his heart.

"I'd never cheat on you Kate and I don't try to flirt with any one, its just the easiest way to talk to fans- get them flustered and have them move on," Castle explained, loosening his grip around her and pulling back to look at his wife. "And I'm sorry I annoy you with the dishes and laundry, I'm sorry I said that you were a slob. And I'm sorry I bugged you so much over text, I just missed you and was bored and lonely," he rambled on a bit, nervous and excited at the same time to be back with his wife. Kate hushed him with a gentle press of her lips to his, scratching lightly at the nape of his neck and stepping closer into the v of his legs.

"I missed you too babe, so very much," She husked in a hoarse, alluring tone with her lips brushing his with each word.

"Yeah?" Castle smirked adorably, showing her how happy he was that he was missed in return.

"Of course I did Rick. I missed you every minute."

"Me too Kate. But…you can't-" Castle stuttered and tripped over his words. "You _can't_ say things like that, about Meredith or Gina. You just can't do that to me because you _know_ it _all_. What that did to me," Castle explained sternly, words being infused with the remnants of hurt and anger.

"I know, Castle. I can't tell you how sorry I am that I ever said it and I do know it all. I know _you_," Kate whispered soothingly as she caressed his smooth jaw. "I know you and I love you Rick." And just like that their intimacy was restored and with a single swipe of his hands down Kate's lower back, that intimacy was amplified. He applied pressure to her tailbone and encouraged her closer into his body. Her chest pressed against his and her arms wrapped around his neck as Castle pushed soft lips to Kate's in a kiss that had her thrusting her hips against his lower stomach, a kiss that created a dirty little moan in the back of her throat.

The dark semi-secluded corner of the bar combined with the desperate ache of separation that had made home in Kate's heart over the last week made Kate feel as if she was alone with her husband. Just them as the rest of the people milling about the bar muted to ambiance noise. Castle dominated the kiss the second Kate opened her mouth to his probing tongue, which stroked deep at the roof of her mouth, retreating to allow his teeth to nip hotly at Kate's bottom lip. One hand slid up her back to splay widely over her shoulder blade while the other ventured south to rest at the hem at the obscenely short hem of her black dress. Kate swooned into Castle as the kiss progressed into something completely inappropriate for their setting, but all of her senses evaporated as the 4 weeks of physical separation and 1 week of emotional separation were erased with the simple press of his body to hers.

A press that allowed her to feel how affected he was by her nearness and feel how very much she was missed. Castle continued to ravage her mouth, moving to suck at that mysterious erogenous zone underneath Kate's jaw giving her a chance to take some deep breaths. When Castle returned to take Kate's lips between his and slide a teasing touch of his tongue along her lower lip, Kate whimpered and reveled in the relief of having her man back where he belonged. Castle was quickly loosing control though as he pulled her infinitesimally closer by the hips, grazing his hand down her outer thigh to bite his blunt nails into the smooth skin of her mile-long legs. At the sharp contact, Kate shuttered and gasped out of the kiss, trying to reign in her arousal. But the way her husband was hiking up the hem of her dress to the edge of her ass while nibbling on her clavicle wasn't helping her self-control.

A cat-call and a simultaneous whistle from the boys was the ice water she needed to gain some composure, unfortunately Castle must have not heard it since he just kept placing wet, hot kisses up her neck.

"Jesus Kate, when I said kiss and make up I didn't mean you should straddle the man in the middle of Javi's party," Lanie teased, finally cutting through the thick fog of arousal that had taken over Rick.

"Yeah Beckett, I feel like I should pay to see this kind of show," Javi added with a salacious grin on his face, contrasting the disgusted look on Ryan's face.

"My mind is forever scarred. I'm gonna need some therapy after seeing Mom and Dad do that," shuttered Ryan.

"Yeah, yeah gets your jokes in now," Castle said standing up behind Kate now, grabbing her hand and wrapped both of their arms low on her stomach. "Get it all out now because I'm going to be taking my wife home for some hot, dirty, make up slash welcome home sex in about two minutes."

Synchronized groans came out of the team, but they cleared a path for them and as Kate and Castle exited the bar, Castle hollered over his shoulder, " Happy Birthday Espo, I'm gonna go get in my birthday suit!"

Kate cracked up at that, feeling drunk in love and high in the simmering arousal. Castle wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer as he bends to whisper in her ear.

"You're the best part about coming home. I love you Kate."

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